因為是有熟悉的朋友要我幫忙寫介紹,

所以在研究工作等等忙碌的其間,還是有情有義的來寫篇介紹文。

答應要寫之後,已經欠很久啦,再不寫可能會被追殺, >/////<

(平常就被SOP的請求追殺了,現在還要寫畢業論文!!)

 

 


 

好,回歸正題。

SOAR, Successful Offers of Admission through Revision

是一個提供修改文件服務的小小小組織。

http://www.soarthroughadmission.com/

 

 

 

 


 

SOAR 能為你做什麼呢。

 

1. TOEFL writing 的寫作教學

2. SOP, wirting sample, 等的申請學校文件的修改,或是評語。

3. Skype 討論寫作 ( 且可以練英文口說,但也有中文的)

 

特別的是,他可以只選給予評語(comments),

比方說,你只想知道你寫的好不好,做 word editing service.

這就是個好選擇,因為價錢低很多,只要$9美金。

 

comments + editing 的服務 要 $80美金,價格上我是覺得還不錯。

 

 


 

 

之前,我寄了三篇在FB上留學讀書會的版友寫的TOEFL writing,

給SOAR 來免費修改,當作展示。

獲得同意,可以在這邊po出來, 可以在這三篇可以於我的Onedrive下載:

 

以下就只用一篇來展示:

 

 

AFTER SOAR editing:

Topic:If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.

    There is no doubt that people should get a secure job right away rather than wait for a satisfying job. Because the world we live in now is more competitive than in the past, finding a job is not an easy task. Additionally, people have fewer opportunities to get a satisfying job. In other words, if you are too picky about your occupation, it is possible that you will never become employed. Therefore, it is true that people should accept a secure job when someone offers it to them.

 

    According to a scientific report, the world population has been increasing rapidly in recent decades. Thus, population explosion is a current reality. People today live in an extremely competitive society, which requires them to compete with many rivals from all over the world. As a job seeker, you must realize there are many competitors striving for the same occupation. In other words, people today may not have as many chances to obtain a satisfying position.

 

    Furthermore, the world is currently suffering from a severe economic crises, not to mention, there are fewer business activities and jobs in our society. In fact, we are now experiencing a period of economic depression. Consequently, many employers are decreasing the number of employees who work for them in order to reduce their cost. As a result of this slumped economy, finding a job is not an easy task and finding an ideal occupation is likely impossible.

 

    Last but not least, it is clear that work experience has a significant impact on one's career. Therefore, people should get a job as early as possible, allowing them to gain experiences and connections, which will increase both their value and the number of opportunities presented to them. This does not mean they will lose the opportunity to pursue their dream job, rather, they will get the experience needed to get their desired job.

 

    In conclusion, it suffices to say that people should take a job immediately if they have the opportunity because the world in which we live is extremely competitive and currently in an economic depression. Hence, people should not always wait for the perfect job. Instead, they need to begin accumulating work experience right away.

 


 

BEFORE editing.

Topic:If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.

    There is no doubt that people should get a secure job right away rather than wait for a satisfying job. Because the world we live now is more competitive than the past, finding a job is not an easy task, not to mention, people have fewer opportunities to get a contented job. In other words, if you are too picky about occupations, it is possible that you never be employed. Therefore, it seems true that people should accept a secure job while someone offers to them.

// xination note: 原作的live少了介係詞 in

// the world we live "in" now is more competitive than "in" the past.

// 更多的細節可以看OneDrive中的.docx file.

 

    According to a scientific report, it revealed that world population have increased rapidly for recent decades. Thus, population explosion is a difficulty that we meet in our world. It is true that people today live in an extremely competitive society as well as they need to compete with many rivals from all over the world. Then as a job seeker, you must realize there are enormous competitors strive for the same occupation. In other words, people today do not have many chances to receive a satisfying position as they want.

 

    Furthermore, the world now is suffering from severe economic crises, no to mention, there are less business activities and jobs in our society. In fact, now we are experiencing a period of economic depression, and therefore many employers may decrease the number of employees in order to reduce their cost. As a result of slumped economies, nowadays finding a job is not an easy task, what is more, getting a perfect occupation is probably impossible during this hard age.

 

    Last but not least, it is obvious that work experiences have significant effects on people's career. Therefore, people should get a job as early as possible then they can accumulate many experiences and connections which would increase their value and opportunities. It does not mean that you will lose the opportunity to pursue your dream, on the other hand, you will derive many resources in all respects. Consequently, it would be easier to get a satisfying job that you want.

 

     To conclude from the above reasons, it suffices to say that people should take a job immediately as they have the opportunity. Because the world we live is radically competitive, moreover, the period we situate is undergoing an economic depression. Hence, people should not always wait for a perfect job. Instead, they need to accumulate work experience right away.

 


 

// xination 也來試著改一下,

// 但是我更動原作的寫作思維比較多,加入了我寫作的風格

// 不過,是保持整體意思是不變的。

    Under the circumstance of having an immediate opportunity to get a secure job, I would prefer to accept the offer right away instead of stubbornly waiting for a potential better job. Among the consideration I have, the global competition intensity is the first factor coming to my mind. One can hardly deny that our present societies have evolved to a much complex one than that in the past, and the difference is accelerating without questions. I would suggest not too be choosy of selecting the first job, and the worst scenario could be having no offers. In this point of view, getting a secure job is much advantageous regarding to your early career.

 

    Several reports have shown the world population increase rapidly for recent decades. Although the term 「population explosion」 could be exaggerated, one can clearly discern the society undergoing huge structure change. The available resources are more limited, and the demand is hiking until we human can efficiently create more fundamental supply, such as energy, space, and security etc. To a job seeker, having a job early can be much safer, and that helps him to prepare the future earlier as well. To an extreme case, a job seeker cannot find a satisfying job, either due to his personal characteristics or the intensifying competition along with the new coined vocabulary – population explosion.

 

    Furthermore, economic crisis always comes. During the economic depression period, one can expect the job opportunity would fairly shrink since employers have to cut the cost, and they usually lay off their workers, and would not hire as many as before in the prime time. Hence the price of stubbornly waiting for a satisfying job could be much higher especially when the unexpected economic crisis comes suddenly. Therefore, I am favorable of taking a secure job right away once I have the opportunity.

 

    Next, by taking accumulation of working experience into consideration, I think taking a job as soon as possible can have significant effects on one's career. Networking among customers or colleagues can also form invaluable relationship, and that takes nothing but devoting one's time to get the true relationship, without any shortcut. You would have a better change to reach your dream by having the aid from your allies, and in the other hand, you could also accomplish what you cannot do individually by involving in a good team. It cannot be better if you can work as soon as possible, so why not get a secure job right away.

 

     For a briefly summary, many beneficial factors support one should take a job immediately as the opportunity coming. The world is changing rapidly, and competition only will become more and more intense. With the unseen dangerous economic recession, it will be never too early to prepare the future. And regarding to accumulating working experience and networking, it is desirable to grab the soonest possible starting point.

 

 

 


 

 

好啦,就先這樣吧。

話說,我之前物理系朋友但後來念Berkeley的歷史系博班,

也開始了打算教英文的人生阿,

每個轉角都有不同的人生階段。

 

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