倫倫的小blog

徵得原作同意，放在這邊做SOP教學範例用。

同時也恭喜原作獲得錄取，

原作的條件非常的好，

但是原版SOP中的缺點是資訊太雜亂，且不容易聚焦。

一方面也是原作接觸的領域很廣，導致邏輯不容易連貫。

以下是原文：

In the beginning of 2013, I noticed an accuse from Hagay tribe on news, whose families and houses were brutally destroyed by Typhoon Herb in 1996, over the past seventeen years, the government didn’t meet the commitment to reconstruct their homeland. I established a project named “xxx Hope” linking between societies, students and enterprises to found thirty thousand US dollars for their reconstruction. Although the money issue had been solved, the stories and images of what happened in 1996 still repeated in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking that if some kind of strong and intelligent robots had been invented, people won’t have to suffer that long. Therefore I aspire to pursue further research on robotics, including robot perception and learning, computer vision and I long for joining EECS at xxxwith all the cutting-edge researches.

 //xination: 以自己組織公益活動為開頭，然後要切入到Robotics, 是非常不容易順暢的，

這邊我幫原作花了不好時間來銜接，

並且將這公益活動也在收尾段再次提出，作為整體性的考量。

同時批評政府並不是去學Robotics的重點，所以我改用其他的說法。

I have since worked extremely hard to fulfill my robotic dream, and I believe that talk to robots is the most intuitive way to control them, so my first step is learning how to let machine recognize words people said. As soon as I became a junior, I joined studies in the Speech Processing Lab. for a year under the supervision of Professor xxxx and chose the research topic ‘Implementation of Invariant Structure and Its Application to Speech Recognition’. The main purpose of the project is to give precise score to a language learner, using KL-divergence combining invariant structure to measure the structural distance between teacher’s word and student’s word, and those distances are sent to three-layered regression analysis. Training data are applied to regression analysis to produce weights between every layer in order to obtain an estimated score of a student, when comparing the estimated score with real score evaluated by teachers, the accurate rate can be determined. My breakthrough with my partner is greatly rise the pronunciation accuracy from 0.0361 to 0.3506 by modifying the data training program using maximum a posteriori (MAP), and figure out new method of normalization to re-calculate structural distance. Eventually, the accomplishment impressed Professor xxxx, getting high grade on his special project for two semesters.

//xination:這段是在講大學時期做專題的故事，

但是從Robotics在跳到 language recognition, 這邊的主題也是跳動很大。

這邊給出了太多特定術語，我覺得太複雜了一些。

I later joined Professor xxxx’s Intelligent Robot and Automation Lab as a senior to learn deeper in the robotics area, where I was assigned to work with two graduate students on ‘Laparoscopic Operation’ as a program of medical automation. My role is to develop new method on coding to prevent the endoscopy from improper use and solve the problem that the endoscopy has bad quality on zoom in function, either by software or by hardware improvement. Throughout this year, I expect to gain further training on robotic controlling and broaden my knowledge on a different robotic application in medical science.

//xination:跳回到Robotics的主題

Further more, Throughout my junior and senior, I attend many courses as the foundation of robotics, including Artificial Intelligence, Robot Sensing and Control, Special Project of Robot Lab, Electrical Engineering Lab (automatic Control), Control System, and I believe these courses combining lab experiences with two professors make me qualify to your EECS M.S. program.

//xination: 這段落太短，應該可以合併到其他段落。

Beyond my academics about inside functions of robots, I started to curious about and interested in how do programmers communicate with hardware designers about the way a function should be implemented, in brief, how the appearance of robots is designed. So I joined IPEVO’s internship in July 2014 as an industrial design intern. IPEVO is a company produce low-priced document camera and interactive whiteboard system famous for their elegant and reasonable design. I had a chance to manage how designer, programmer, product manager integrate with one another and to experience actual conflicts happened in the whole process in manufacture a machine, like robot. Most significantly, I learned several graphic applications and design aspects which enhanced my ability to design robots, also gaining communicating skills with specialists in different background, which help me to cooperate with my colleagues in lab and even future workplaces.

//xination:在講實習的事，但是會有點讓主題--Robotics分散的風險，

所以不能講太多，要盡量短一些。

At the same time, I kept asking myself what else can robots applied to the society in a simple yet useful way, combining to the educational condition in Taiwan, My friends and I came up with a project named ‘Score Master’. I want to solve the problem that students always have questions to be answered, while teachers and cram schools can’t be available after school, so we design a program which students can simply upload photos of questions and our online university students can reply them even in midnight. I started up this program because a robot capable of photo identification, calculation and searching data based on key words could be invented in the future and could substitute the role of university students in Score Master, the discovery is the main purpose to my efforts, since I’m enthusiastic about predict future trend and find more application for robots. From this program, I learned how to dig out problems of value, think creatively and independently.

//xination:在講APP的事，

但是其實我建議刪掉，因為與其他段落非常不搭。

Driven by my strong desire to advance the world by robots, I’m keen to dedicate myself to computer vision and Robot learning and perception to develop break-through technologies and come up with innovative and radical solutions, and use it to solve huge problem. I believe that xxxx offers the best program for me to stay at the top of robotics field. It has a large faculty specializing in software systems, which offers numerous research opportunities and provides various courses renowned for their depth and breadth.My interdisciplinary interests and solid background would contribute to the EECS department, and I am certain that it will be my ideal environment to grow.

//xination:尾段是覺得有點太籠統了些。

xination的想法：

From a news article reported in early 2013, I learned a minor Taiwanese tribe, Hagay, whose families and houses were mercilessly destroyed by Super Typhoon Herb in 1996, was still in a helpless situation and could only reflect their angers to the media as the final and meager resorts. I spontaneously and voluntarily organized a project, for which I called “xxx Hope”, aiming to involve societies, students and industrial enterprises to help Hagay tribe reconstruct their homeland. Through my promotion and hard work, I successfully gathered $30,000 USD funding for the first-step reconstruction. My participation in “xxx hope” project inspired me to engage in more charity events, and additionally it much encouraged and drove me to apply what I have already learned in Robotics to make our societies better. Homeland security, language recognition, automation in medical usage, and more fields continuously get benefits from a better robot design. I was very excited when I learned the master program in Department of EECS at xxx after comparing to various graduate programs. Your program provides the training and research opportunities in robot perception that I exactly want to learn for fulfilling my goal.

//xination: 保留這個公益活動的故事，

然後在整合一下，下面段落會提到的重點，像是language recognition等等

My first experience of language recognition came from participating in the Speech Processing Laboratory led by Prof. xxx, during my junior year at Department of EE in xxx University. At the lab I was focus on the research of “Implementation of Invariant Structure and Its Application to Speech Recognition”. In short, we devised a score system to a language learner by using KL-divergence which combining invariant structures, and feed training data to regression analysis in order to produce the weights among each layer. Making the score of pronunciation accuracy from 0.0361 to 0.3506, around 9.7 times accurate, was a huge breakthrough from the hard work of my partner and me. We worked out a new algorithm to normalize the structural distance, and redesigned the data-training program that using maximum a posteriori probability (MAP) estimate.

 //xination: 把這段縮短很多，且強調在成果上。

In my senior year, I earned an opportunity to work in a team with two graduate students on the frontier research of “Endoscopic Camera Control by Head Movements for Thoracic Surgery’” in the Intelligent Robot and Automation Laboratory. I made a major contribution on the coding part, especially for preventing improper use of an endoscope. At the same time, I improved the zoom-in function, and combined the screen of an endoscope with a head-mounted display. Another beneficial advance I created was a brand-new function allowing an endoscope to remember operational points, so that doctors can reach those crucial points efficiently and intuitively.

//xination: 把這段縮短很多，聚焦在project中負責的工作。

“Recognizing Human Intentional Actions from the Relative Movement between Human and Robot” was my third project at college. In this research I classified and labeled human-walking patterns as three categories; approaching, departure, and passing by. The next step was to establish those patterns by HMM for recognizing intentional actions of human, in which I searched literature volume by volume for the essential theories and algorithms, and finally I implemented my own working program.

//xination:這是原作後來又補給我的資料。

The three research projects brought me valuable experience in Robotics as well as the internship in IPEVO broadened my vision for the design of a robot. In summer 2014 as an Industrial Design intern, I was delightful and fortunate to learn a bundle of graphic applications and designing expertise, and meanwhile witnessed real-world cooperation among industrial designers, programmers, product managers.

//xination:我再將這3個project且與實習的工作努力串連起來。

Based on my strong interest in Robotics and my passion to contribute to a better version of our societies, I set a goal to advance my understanding in Robotics, and apply this expertise to devise practical technologies. Your program is the starting point of my wonderful journey of learning advance Robotics through your innovative and solid courses. Moreover, I wish to join the Control, Intelligent Systems, and Robotics (CIR) center, and it would be my pleasure to have opportunities to do researches with Prof. xxx because that his researches on Ambulating Robots and Ornithopter Project immensely fascinate me, and are very related to my previous studies.

//xination: program方面的資訊，這邊原作是處理的不錯得，我只是將內容改得平順點。

As the organizer of “xxxx hope” project, I am always full of energy, courage, and concentration to solve a problem. With my solid background in Robotics, I believe I definitely can achieve my full potential in your master program, and make an impact on our world in the near future.

//xination: 最後回應第一段中提過得內容